gentlemen (and ladies), it's show time!
posted August 29, 2004 at 11:10 pm
My Friday night date took me to a gentlemen's club - at my request. Does it surprise anyone that I'm the type of woman who would enjoy this sort of thing? Well, I'm here to say that I do love them, and I think they can be exciting for couples, not just for men by themselves.
I developed a fondness for these clubs and the women who dance in them about 12 years ago. I worked for an automotive paint manufacturer, and the guys in the chemistry lab frequented a nearby topless bar (ostensibly for the cheap lunch buffet, but we all knew better). One day, being the adventurers that we were, a female coworker and I decided we wanted to tag along. We'd been to La Bare, and after seeing women scream and carry on at the sight of hot male bodies, we were curious as to how the other half lived.
But we were admittedly nervous. Would we stand out like freaks in the crowd of men? Be branded as lesbians (back then, they weren't so mainstream) or worse, as prostitutes looking to benefit from the aroused fruits of the dancers' labor? (Okay, we had big imaginations.) Would anyone even notice us anyway with all the exposed female flesh in the room?
When we arrived, got our food and found our table with the guys, we looked around and were immediately comforted by seeing other, conservatively clothed women sitting around too. "Thank goodness," we said to each other, "we're not alone!!", and the lab guys laughed at us (for being so silly over nothing, it seemed).
So we relaxed and just observed. Amazingly to us, the men weren't hooting and hollering and screaming insanely, like La Bare women did - in some cases, it almost seemed like they paid no attention to the dancers at all. It was a fascinating study to observe these men and try to figure out whether they were actually enjoying the scenery or just oddly indifferent to it, and to wonder why in either case.
Then, at 1:00 p.m., the lights dimmed and the announcer's voice came on: "Gentlemen, iiiiiiit's show time!!"
Suddenly, all of those women whose presence we'd been comforted by, sitting so innocently around the club, began to stand and climb up on top of the various tables - dancing and stripping off their clothes! The lab guys were now laughing even harder at us - they'd known all along what was coming, and had just been waiting for the moment so they could watch our reactions. One tried to convince me that any woman in the club was obligated to do this, so I'd better get up on our table and get busy. I blushed hard and punched him in the arm: "No way, buddy!" - but secretly, I was envious of the confidence these women were displaying by being able to parade around in nothing but a G-string.
Yes, envious. Being thin and flat-chested and thus self-conscious of my body, how could I not be envious of any woman who was proud enough of hers to show it off to that degree? If I'd been similarly blessed, and could actually make a boatload of dough from dancing topless, you bet your sweet ass I would have considered it seriously. A woman should be able to use her gifts in any way she wants, including to turn a nice profit.
Because a VP at the plant also spent a lot of time at this particular club, and was wealthy to boot (always a draw for a smart dancer), he knew these girls more personally than did most of the club's clientele. Since he had a "thing" for cute young women, and I was one (despite what I thought was my lack of a figure), he started taking me along to the club. I joked all the time about wanting a boob job, so I'd pick out a girl whose breasts I admired, he'd have her come over, and then ask her the name of her plastic surgeon!
As we'd talk with the dancer in question, he'd also inquire about her kids or her parents or whatever he knew was important in her life, and while listening to them, I realized these women were really no different from anyone else. They took their kids to school each morning, waited around for the cable repair guy, shopped for groceries - they just also happened to take their clothes off in exchange for the cash to pay for these things.
As I began to get to know the dancers better as human beings, I started feeling oddly protective of them. Sometimes, the VP would tease the girls by tossing quarters at them, and I'd swipe bills from his wallet and tip them more appropriately. He also had me sign his credit card receipts for the tab, and I'd make sure the waitresses got huge tips for putting up with him too. Every woman I met there worked hard, and I didn't think they deserved to be scorned because of some unfortunate stereotype. I think most women who denigrate strippers (and porn stars, and women like Pamela Anderson) are secretly threatened by them; I realized that I never felt threatened, only impressed, and so I never looked down on any of them at all.
For several months, almost every lunch hour was spent at the club, and the occasional evening after work. My wedding anniversary rolled around, and the VP suggested we take my (now ex) husband up there and buy him a lap dance. I felt certain he'd like that, yet he was too embarrassed to have me watch, so I agreed to go to the restroom during his dance - but of course, I cheated and observed the whole thing from the end of the bar. (In hindsight, my ex's unwillingness to have me present was a good indicator that the couple who can't play together won't stay together.)
As I've gotten older (and divorced, haha), I've developed more confidence in my own body, though I'm still unlikely to ever be found naked having dollar bills tucked into a G-string of my own (at least not publicly :p). So now, instead of going to a gentlemen's club solely for research, I like to go there because it is a pleasurable (and yes, sensual) experience.
I pick out the girls who I think are attractive, and I send my date up to tip them, because I respect that they are there to make money, not just to entertain - plus, I want him to be comfortable in knowing that I'm not going to freak out if he gets near another woman when he's with me.
We discuss each dancer's attributes as she comes up on stage, and from this, I learn a great deal about what he finds appealing in a woman, whether it's blonde hair or long legs or large breasts (which doesn't mean I'll be condemning myself accordingly, it's just interesting information to have).
If he wants me to tip a woman instead of doing so himself, I'm game for that too (and I've just noted something else that's revealing about what excites him).
I even mentally record moves that would be useful in a private setting (hmm, what's with this little ass-shimmy thing all the girls seem to be doing?) because let's face it, if you think it's too late to add new tricks to your repertoire, then chances are that you're boring in the bedroom.
I also learn things about other men, like on Friday night, when every time my date went to the restroom, a man at the table next to us hit on me. That's low level behavior in my book; one small part flattering, the other larger part insulting. Yes, my date and I were behaving in a rather cozy manner, but I didn't quite understand what this other man thought that meant. Did he really think I was fair game just because I was having some admittedly wild fun with another guy, when it had to be quite obvious that we were totally caught up only in each other? Ugh. I didn't say a word about it to my date while we were there, not wanting to start trouble and ruin our good time, but I was highly annoyed by this jerk. They're not all like that though, and many of the men in the club that night were accompanied by female dates of their own, so maybe the guy eventually found someone else on whom to aim his cock-blocking efforts (and hopefully, got knocked down a peg or two).
Despite the jerk, I still had tons of fun, as I always do. They play good music in these clubs, there's alcohol (unfortunately, always too high-priced, but I wasn't paying :p), and even though they cater to men, female patrons are always treated with great courtesy by the staff, at least in my experience. I felt very playful and a bit hedonistic, and I could tell the man I was with was enjoying that aspect of my personality.
Had I been intimidated rather than inspired by the presence of these women, it would have been a lot less fun for both of us. I don't leave these clubs feeling less attractive or thinking my body isn't as perfect as those I've just seen. Instead, I walk out feeling more sexy and beautiful - because I've just witnessed for myself that there are any number of shapes to the female form, and every one of them has its unique set of admirers, including my own. That feeling spills over into the rest of the evening and can make for a very memorable night - especially when you're with a man who finds that level of confidence a turn-on in its own right.
So, to any woman who wants to add a little spice to her love life, I say, ask your guy to take you to a gentlemen's club. If he's shocked by the idea - replace him with a man who isn't. (But consider whether he's just pretending to be shocked because he thinks you're posing one of those sneaky female questions along the lines of "Do you think this dress makes me look fat?", and he's finally learned you really don't want an honest answer.)
And if you're shocked by the idea - get over it. You'll both thank me later. ;)
Comments
Fantastic read... thanks. Every once in a while my wife will get a bit of a wild hair and want to go to a club... it's always in a bit of fun and like you said, she always leaves there feeling more empowered and beautiful than anything else.
Very cool read! I've always been curious to go to a gentlemens club, just never made the time to go to one. Reading your entry was very enjoyable, agreeing on the fact that the dancers ARE just like you and me. Human. :)
Girlie, you're an advanced soul. I wish more women were this secure in themselves and their relationships You're an inspiration, my girl... :-)
Awww, Jay. And you are an inspiration to me! But you knew that, right? ;)
This is one of the most grown-up posts that I have ever read. What you say about appreciating the variety of beauty when you leave the club is golden. Now, how do we fix my gender?