Nothing in this life is 100% perfect and guaranteed against failure, especially when it comes to intimate relationships. It would be nice if we had a crystal ball and could look ahead to see if the person we choose to devote ourselves to will always be the right person for us.

Unfortunately, this is a dilemma that you can't get around if you really want a chance to experience what it means to open yourself up to the joys of truly sharing your life with someone. The only way to find out if a relationship will last is to dive in, to let yourself get involved deeply enough to the point where it either works out, or it doesn't. If you try to hold back a part of yourself "just in case", then you really aren't giving the relationship the full benefit of what it needs to actually work. You're shortchanging it from the very beginning and thus practically guaranteeing its failure.

But risk is difficult, you say. What if you end up getting hurt, or hurting someone else? What if your heart is broken, or you cry real tears, or you are devastated by the loss of someone you've come to love?

To me, the answer to that question is its opposite: what if you don't?

There is a certain level of safety and comfort in self-protection. But the problem with that is you're at risk for becoming stagnant and alone. You think you're avoiding risk, but you're just risking something far worse.

In the movie Steel Magnolias, Julia Roberts' character says: "I would rather have thirty minutes of wonderful than a lifetime of nothing special."

By not risking in a relationship, you get a lifetime of nothing special.

The irony of happiness is that in order to truly appreciate it, you must have something to compare it to - and those are the bad times. The bad times enable you to recognize just how good the good times are when you encounter them.

What makes the joy of a newborn baby such a wonderful thing? The knowledge that life ultimately ends in death. If we all lived forever, life would cease to be as precious as it is.

What makes a wedding day such a happy occasion? The knowledge that there is loneliness in the world, and finding someone you want to commit to being with forever is often tough. (And something to think about: if every marriage worked out perfectly, there would be many people who would never find their true partner the second - or even third - time around.)

What makes any grand event in your life so very grand? The knowledge that there are down times for everyone, and no one is exempt, and each time you get a chance to delight in happiness, you should wallow in it.

Because you never know when the next bad time will come, and you deserve the chance to revel in the happier times.

Because you shouldn't turn away from something that makes you feel wonderful just because one day, maybe, possibly, could be that it will make you feel not so wonderful anymore.

Because there is always the very real possibility that it might always make you feel wonderful. That does happen, you know.

The reality is, every relationship comes to an end, whether by choice of the people involved or not. Couples live happily for twenty, or thirty, or fifty years together, and still, one day, they must part.

Knowing that, should we all just avoid relationships, because we know inevitably that they will end with heartache in one form or another? Is the pain of losing your loved one through death any less painful simply because you know they left unwillingly?

Nothing hurts like heartache. But nothing heals a heartache like the possibility of a new love. And that healing, that wonderment, that sheer ecstasy won't be available to you unless you face the uncertainty that is a part of every aspect of life and take the risk.

And ultimately, the whole purpose of life is to share it with others. The good times - and the bad.