I got a nice surprise last Wednesday evening before leaving for Justin's game: Matt sent me an Enigma CD, ordered off my wish list from Amazon. Thanks, Matt!

He's right: it's a wonderful CD. =)

  

I spoke to the detective about my gun and gave him the serial number. I was right, the clerk didn't have me sign the report, duh!

I learned a lot of wonderfully scary facts about the punk suspect. He's got quite a record for someone who's only 19, and it appears he's currently out on bond on some other pending charges. He's also a pawn regular: I guess they can access those records somehow. On April 1, he pawned a 10-carat diamond ring. Gee, I wonder who he stole that from!

I had to give him a specific date when I last saw the gun. I got out my calendar, because I knew that for sure I had taken it to Matt's the last time I was there. That was Easter Sunday, so April 15. This date was important, because if they find the gun in a pawn shop, and the date it was pawned was before the date I gave them, it could fuck things up. Even though I think it was stolen the week I reported it missing, I couldn't swear to it, since I keep it in the nightstand and don't take it out unless I'm going away overnight. In fact, if I'd only remembered to take it that Wednesday I went to Matt's, I might still have my gun right now. =(

  

Checking my voice mail from the past few days, I had two messages from Bud. It's funny how much he hankers to talk to me. Even though I haven't seen him for over ten years, I can still read him like an open book. It's ironic how that attraction between us has never faded; maybe because we never married and had to put up with each other day in and day out.

At least I know if I ever wanted to just get laid, he'd take me to bed in a heartbeat, haha. We fought like crazy and only stopped when we were having sex, which was probably why the sex was so damn incredible. I was reminded of our relationship when I was reading Kosher Sex, in a section that talked about how some relationships are all passion but no friendship. That's what we had: a tidal wave of passion, but nothing else in common at all.

Now it's just funny to watch our interactions; but once upon a time, it really sucked. I'm glad I got past that stage in my life, and now I can just enjoy the flirting while knowing that I don't want him in my life the same way anymore. We've both changed, but not in a way that would ever enable us to be a couple. At least, I don't think so.

There's a whole lot of water under that bridge.

  

He finally got a hold of me tonight - he got smart and called my second phone line this time. The minute I got on the line, he asked me: "How can we have an affair if I can't get you on the phone?"

I died laughing! Like I said, I can read him like a book.

I won't deny that it's quite tempting though, for curiosity if nothing else. I just don't know if I am capable of having sex without becoming emotionally involved with someone. I'm not sure how that would make me feel. Probably not very good.

Although the way my so-called relationships have gone in the past, I'm not sure there's really any difference, except for whatever I tell myself about them. Maybe I've just been fooling myself all along.

Something to think about, I suppose.

I gave Bud my cel number so he won't have to bitch about not getting me on my regular phone. He said he'd call me today. We'll see.

This could be very complicated. But I've been looking for a distraction to get me over Matt. Maybe this is it.

One thing's for sure: if I decide to do this, I'll have to buy a bottle of a certain perfume that I haven't worn since we dated. That'll make him nuts, hahaha. I'm so mean!!