This morning, I walked into work and came face-to-face with the reason I haven't wanted to be there the past few days.

I didn't realize until then that he was the cause of it. It hadn't occurred to me that he was an uncomfortable distraction, a thorn in my side, an annoying reminder of someone I didn't want to be thinking about while I was at work. Work, after all, is the one place I have managed to be mostly free of those thoughts. My safe harbor, so to speak.

He usually travels, so he's rarely in the office. He isn't the only bald man there, just the one who unfortunately reminds me the absolute most of WhatsHisName. I'm sure if I put them side-by-side, there probably wouldn't be all that much resemblance. But somehow, this one appears to me to be the most likely image of what YouKnowWho will look like a few years down the road. Even his voice and manner is similar to SomebodyIOnceKnew.

And he's been in the office too much lately. I like him a lot, I really do - and maybe that's simply because he enjoys the benefit of my memories of ThatOtherGuy. But I just want to tell him to get back on the road, away from my eyes, so that I can focus again on my work and not on thoughts of the person he reminds me of so very much.

You're a great guy, John, but you're killing me!!

So I took a cure and hopped on Matchmaker while I was at work. Interestingly, my approach this time around has been quite different. I have sent out exactly ONE letter - to someone I knew from my previous days on Matchmaker (I mailed him to ask when he was going to get some new damn pictures, hehe - and NO, it's not who you're thinking of).

I don't browse "Who's On" and send a message if I see someone who appeals to me.

I don't open/read/respond to every message I receive - I ruthlessly delete them without further ado if their picture or profile does not create an instant, pleasurable reaction.

I do not waste one iota of my time or energy on anyone I'm not completely interested in.

So where does that leave me?

Talking to one guy on a regular basis now, and a couple more that might do the trick.

The one that has grabbed my immediate attention (and I'm sure I'll have jinxed it now that I've actually mentioned him in this journal - the death-knell for my relationships, it seems) is over six feet tall, dark hair, green eyes, quite the stud-muffin in his pictures, hehe. Age range 36 to 40. Enough wit in his messages to make me giggle like I haven't in ages. (Or at least in about four months.)

Downside? Lives in Fort Worth.

Other downside? I'm afraid to meet him, for fear that a) I won't like him or b) I will like him.

Sigh.

And just to brag on myself - because who else is going to do it? - I looked really nice today!

I wore a black sleeveless sweater with a cowl-neck, and a full length red and black patterned skirt made out of a silky material, with slits on both sides all the way up to above my knees. The red really brought out my tan, and I had a great hair day to boot.

I love the way the skirt flows around me as I walk. It makes me feel extremely sexy and flirty. And being able to put my hand right there on my tummy and feel that belly ring hidden away beneath the material really makes me feel devilish.

I just love having secrets. =)