It all started when the Senior Bean Counter opened his bottom desk drawer around 10 a.m. this morning.

He called me over to observe what he had found. Laying on top of his hanging files was a paper towel - shredded. He couldn't recall ever having had a paper towel in that drawer - but there it was in all its ripped glory.

And if you peered closely at the files, you could see little black pellets scattered across them.

Mouse poop.

SBC had a plastic grocery sack of microwave popcorn packages in the back of the drawer. We looked inside and saw that there were kernels of unpopped corn in the bottom of the bag. Apparently, after opening a package, the mouse (or mice!) decided the kernels weren't to their liking.

The AP Lady checked her desk drawers, but found no signs of foraging critters.

I, on the other hand, had a baby fit when I discovered that a miniature Hershey's bar left in my desk had been attacked. You could see the little sharp teeth marks left behind in the chocolate, and there were tiny slivers of brown and silver paper sprinkled across the other items in the drawer.

Then I opened my top drawer, where I had stashed a large Big Block Hershey's bar (hey, I've had chocolate cravings lately, okay?) - only to find almost one-third of it devoured.

Oh my Lord, it was disconcerting to see how much of the chocolate had been consumed! Deep grooves left in the remnants of the bar gave me visions of long-toothed furry monsters enjoying a Christmas treat, tittering in the dark at their luck.

Shudder.

Some years ago, The Ex and I had a mouse in our townhouse. I had heard skittering one night and the next morning, found the evidence in my purse - a gnawed-on candy bar.

Yes, it was also a Hershey's.

If you ever want to catch a mouse, don't bait the trap with cheese. Trust me, use Hershey's chocolate. The little devils absolutely love it.

Then the temporary receptionist came back with a message from the building management office:

"There's a sewer problem in the building. You can't use the bathrooms. You have to walk to the building next door to use theirs."

Like HELL I do.

I have a cough and pee problem. There's no way I'm going to traipse across a parking lot in this frigid weather to another building every ten minutes when I wet my pants.

We've had inadequate heating, construction dust and materials everywhere, no one picks up our mail or FedEx packages (oh, but we can walk two buildings down to the drop box every day); now we have rodents to contend with, and a fucked up sewer system.

What a frigging joke.

But as long as the Head Honcho has a shorter drive to work on the two days a week he makes an appearance, it's all worth it, right?

The only two check signers in the office - the Head Honcho and my boss - are both out this week. So I had to separate out the live checks from the direct deposit stubs and overnight them to my boss in Illinois for him to sign - and then he'll overnight them to the hospitals for distribution.

We decided to enclose a special, one-of-a-kind, Christmas gift to him along with the checks:

A miniature Hershey's chocolate bar - with tiny teeth marks in it.