Five words that should be synonymous with your name:

eclectic, impatient, smart, pragmatic, over-analyzer

To what would you attribute your s.a.s.s.i.t.u.d.e.?

Although an abusive childhood had an impact, the thing that really brought out the bitch in me was getting pregnant at 16. I had the misfortune at the time (a blessing now) of looking far younger than my age, and everywhere I went, people stared and gawked at what appeared to be a PREGNANT CHILD. It brought out the Irish in me, and I got pretty good at popping off at them for their rude behavior. It wasn't a big leap to telling off nasty sales clerks, demanding better service from wait staff, and just being a high-strung, high-maintenance drama queen in general.

These days, a concealed handgun license and a deadly aim give me my s.a.s.s.i.t.u.d.e.!!!

Who are some of your female role models, or women that you respect and why.

Judge Judy – she's so damn sharp and smart, and she knows how to see through the bullshit and put stupid people soundly in their place.

Hillary Rodham Clinton – another smart cookie – a testament to what a threat she is to the male population is evidenced by their labeling her as a "dyke" – when men can't outsmart a woman, they start trying to demean her sexually. In a backass-ward way, that's the ultimate compliment.

Ann Richards – brains, wit – and the balls to tell people that her private life is nobody's business.

Robin Quivers – sure of who she is, content in her singlehood, and able to hold her own in a radio studio full of men displaying adolescent behavior.

Give us your top ten list of things that piss you off. If you plan on putting them in order, list them from 1 - 10, because that's how they will be listed on the site. If there is no particular order, don't worry about it.

1. Stupid people. Those lacking common sense, or those who are merely ignorant and do nothing to enlighten themselves. In Texas, we have a special brand of stupid people: parents who leave their children in closed up cars to die from the heat and then say they - oops - forgot about them. They earn my utmost disdain.
2. Anyone who abuses a child verbally, emotionally, or physically.
3. Liars, cheats, and thieves. There's no excuse for bringing harm to others by your own lack of morals.
4. Racism. Not only those who promote it, but also those who use it as an excuse for their current situation in life. (I'm not saying it doesn't happen, just make sure that's really what's going on.)
5. Men who say they want a relationship, they want to be in love, then when it starts happening, they get cold feet and head for the nearest exit, blaming the woman for caring too much. If you can't take the heat, stay away from the fire.
6. People who ask: "Is that your REAL hair color?" Or even worse, when I was painfully thin: "Do you have anorexia?"
7. Breaking News. You know, when it's really important for a news team to be able to claim they were FIRST in spilling the beans, so they interrupt at the most critical moment of the season finale of your absolute favorite program just to tell you that some cow was loose in the road and ohmigod! someone hit the cow in their little Ford Ranger pickup truck, but the cow's okay, the driver walked away, and we'll have an update for you at 10 (which happens to be about five minutes from now).
8. Grocery store checkers who go beyond 'service with a smile' and engage in lengthy, distracting conversations while I'm waiting in line, dancing impatiently from one foot to the other, thinking to myself: Get the f**k on with it, will you?
9. Bad grammar and poor spelling. Unless you can claim "poetic license".
10. Any institution that places conformity above individuality – that includes most educational facilities and organized religion.

Has your outspoken nature ever gotten you into any trouble? Give a couple examples if you could.

Not any serious trouble that I can think of, but there have been plenty of times when I engaged my mouth before my brain and had to either back-track or make nice over something I've said.

What type of women do you think give the rest of us a bad name?

Any woman who thinks she falls second to men merely due to her gender.

Any woman who confuses boorish flirting behavior with sexual harassment.

Any woman who misconstrues morning-after regret for date rape.

Any woman whose claim to fame comes from being involved in a sex scandal.

Any woman who uses her status as "victim" to promote herself and then poses in Playboy.

(Please note: I have no objection to posing in Playboy per se. It's a particular type of poser I have trouble with.)

What do you think is the biggest female weakness?

Putting our real lives on hold until we have a man to share it with.

Or spending time with a man who treats us badly or isn't someone we even really like, simply because we don't want to be alone.

And our lack of upper body strength. =)

Do you find that men are generally intimidated by you?

Only in the sense that I have been accused of having a solemn (thus, uninviting) facial demeanor. I learned at a young age that my face tends to betray my emotions, and as a protective measure, I apparently adopted a mask to keep people from reading my feelings. I'm usually not aware of it, but I've heard about it often enough to know it exists.

Do you consider yourself a feminist?

Yes, but a mellowed one! I use to be quite extreme and vocal about it, but as I've gotten older, I've seen that some things really don't matter in the grand scheme. I've realized that in many cases, how others see you or treat you matters a great deal less than how you see or treat yourself.

What are your views on love and relationships in general?

Gee, that depends on what day of the week it is when you ask me the question!!

I think love and relationships in general are what make the world a better place, and they are also hard to find and maintain. Some days I believe in soul mates and romance, other days I am more cynical and think it's just a load of crap. But I do try very hard not to let my past experiences deter me from generalizing in a way that might keep me from finding love and a solid relationship. Unfortunately, I tend to keep repeating the same mistakes in that arena, so I must have a lesson I still haven't learned yet.

What are some issues/causes that you feel most passionate about?

I'm adamantly pro-choice, though I wish there wasn't a need for abortion. I don't think it's anybody's business what women do or don't do with their bodies.

I'm also pro-death penalty. There are just some people that don't need to be kept alive on my tax dollars. That may be judgmental, but I have no sympathy for murderers. Period.

I really get annoyed when I see the U.S. sending money to other countries when I think we have so much poverty right here. And though I think the rich deserve the money they've earned, some of the wealthiest people in this country could do a whole lot of good if they spread it around. I can't imagine that if I had $20 million, I couldn't live just as well on half of that, and give the rest away. Once you reach a certain level of wealth, everything else is gravy.

Give some advice to women who need to be more assertive.

Love yourself first and foremost. This is hard to learn, but has tremendous payoffs in your ability to stand up for YOU. You can't set boundaries unless you know where you end and someone else begins.

Many people like to point out the difference between assertive and aggressive, but sometimes I think a woman who is just learning to stand up for herself might need a good dose of aggression to get the general idea. Sometimes you have to experience the extremes until you can find a place comfortably in the middle. It's better to overdo it a few times than to be a doormat.

Just make sure you know how to apologize properly if you go too far in your efforts to defend yourself.

What would you say to people who are offended by some of your statements?

It would depend on the person and their relationship to me. Those who know me well enough aren't going to take offense, but if they do, I would probably try to explain myself.

Those who don't know me? Well, I figure if half the people I encounter aren't offended by what I say, then that's a pretty good approval rating. No one is ever going to be liked by everybody. (If they are, they're covering up their dark side pretty well.)

What is your favorite sassy quote or one-liner?

When I'm good, I'm very good – but when I'm bad, I'm even better. – Mae West