Pardon me while I tend to my throbbing head.

We had a Happy Hour celebration after work on Thursday - primarily with the intent of allowing everyone to observe my first encounter with TS (the man the AP Lady has been dying for me to meet). It's so nice to know that my friends were going there to witness what was sure to be an awkward moment, haha.

So it was the Fab Four plus Two - the AP Lady's husband and TS. We chose Razzoo's because it's right across the highway from our offices, and I, being the Nervous Nellie that I usually am in these situations, wanted to get as much alcohol in my system as possible before TS arrived.

I had guzzled down a Red Faced Bubba and was halfway through a Hurricane when TS showed up, so by then my nerves were calmed considerably.

My first observation was that he had great hair!! All one length, down below his collar, dark and full. It wasn't long before I had my hands in it, just to rattle him (since the AP Lady told me he's very particular about his hair, hehe).

I also thought he had beautiful eyes (though I couldn't even tell you what color they are) and a really cute nose (funny the things I notice)!

It's interesting though, when you realize while looking someone over what things appeal to you. His hands for one - I guess I never knew how much I pay attention to hands. There wasn't anything I could pinpoint as wrong with his hands, they just didn't "do" anything for me. I suppose imagining being touched by any given pair of hands is what causes me to evaluate them.

Hmmm, clothing. He was dressed nicely, but I couldn't get a sense of what his body was like. I'm not looking for a perfect physique (any guys I date are going to have a tough time competing with AM in that regard) but I am looking for something that I can get excited about.

I also should have noticed his shoes, but I didn't. Now I'm curious, as I realize upon reflection that shoe choices matter. Hahaha, how silly do I sound??

But I guess the point I'm trying to make is that it's the little things that all add up to an attraction - or absence of it. So those are the physical things, what about the intellectual aspect??

TS makes me laugh, and he seems to try very hard to think of conversational topics to avoid too much silence. It's very endearing in a way, because I sense he does it out of nervousness. But unfortunately, sometimes I find my head spinning out of boredom. =(

There have been phone moments when my mind wanders while he's talking. This is not good. For me, "great phone" is when the time just whizzes by because you're so caught up in the discussion that you lose track of hours. Instead, I'm counting the minutes until we hang up.

So the intellectual side of things is definitely something I find lacking, and this is probably going to be the major obstacle to taking the relationship any further. I had hoped that perhaps I would experience enough of a physical attraction to stimulate my mental interest - but it just wasn't there.

Everyone had pretty much bailed on us, and we were the only two left at the table, but I was quite freaking intoxicated (I think I tried every drink on the menu with the exception of the Gator Punch, and well, have you seen how big that thing is?), and didn't want to stay much longer.

TS had paid for my drinks (which I remembered to thank him for the next day), so he walked me to my car (giving me a quick peck on the lips, oh dear), and I left with the sense that this is not destined to be a "love match" by any means.

After I got on the road to head home, he called me and started talking about his kid and school and I don't know what else. I was so inebriated that concentrating on my driving was my only interest, and his rambling on was not helping!! It just irritated me a great deal.

And God, I know it was so dangerous for me to have been driving in that condition!! I put my cruise control on to monitor my speed, and turned all my remaining effort into staying between the white lines on the highway. When I got almost home, I suddenly developed an urge to pick up my cel phone and start dialing the numbers of exes, hehe.

I called AM's cel phone. Got voice mail. Didn't leave a message.

Called his house. Answering machine. No message again.

Called YKW's cel phone (lord, I was drunk, wasn't I?) - that number's been disconnected. Duh.

By then, I realized I was behaving like a nut (and that I really need to delete all these old numbers for my own protection!) and I put the phone away.

When I got home, it was all I could do to get my makeup off, brush my teeth, and fall into bed. It was barely 9 p.m., but the room was spinning so bad I couldn't even sit in my computer chair. I needed to get horizontal, and fast.

I woke up at 2 a.m., hotter than hell, even though I'd fallen asleep butt-ass naked. So I got up and sat at the computer (still naked!) and smoked a cigarette. Then I took two Aleve, got a cold rag for my pounding head, and crawled back into bed, but had trouble sleeping.

I really wanted to like TS. Not just because of the pressure of working with the woman who tried to set us up, but also because he does seem like a nice guy.

But I know myself too well: it's just not there for me, and I don't want a relationship that doesn't absolutely thrill me.

So the only thing left to say is:

"Next!"

Sigh.