My, how time flies when you aren't watching the clock!

Today is the one year anniversary of The Girlie Matters. But although it's been around for 365 days, there are only 128 entries (including this one) in that one year period.

That's a bit of a disappointment for me. Of course, it's my own fault! And well, I guess I should also blame my job a little bit for that as well - the entries were more frequent before I started working again. That long drive each day has just siphoned the life (and writing) right out of me. I'm hoping that once I've moved, and spend only 15 minutes driving to work and back each day, that I'll have a little more oomph and inspiration in me when the time comes to plant myself in front of that blank screen.

As I sit here now, I see that in many ways, my life is very different than it was a year ago; in many other ways, it seems to not have changed much at all.

So, what has changed and what has not?

Well, there's that job. I was having a pretty hard time finding a work environment that didn't drive me batty. I finally found a company with coworkers that don't seem too terribly dysfunctional - but the work itself is leaving something to be desired. I'm very stressed right now, and having a hard time seeing a future with this company that doesn't involve even more stress.

So while I'm happy to be employed, I'm not happily employed.

My divorce finally became official after more than a year of separation from The Ex. We've become what has to be the strangest pair of ex-spouses in the annals of history. Our relationship does not seem typical of most divorced couples. We interact almost exactly the same way we always have - like two friends exchanging stories and jokes. I asked if I could be the one to "give him away" when he marries the woman he left me for. He was not amused. =)

My children lived with me a year ago. Now the youngest two are with their dad and seem to be thriving, although Justin still has a propensity toward being difficult now and then. I see my agreement to relinquish primary custody as one of the hardest decisions I have ever had to make - but I know in my heart it was the right thing to do.

Scott has finally managed to find a job, which he seems to be enjoying. I'm pleased to know that he is learning what "real life" is all about. He's about to get a full-fledged lesson in less than a month when I move out of the nest (since pushing him out of it didn't seem to be an option).

My hair is quite a bit longer now - but it's bugging me, and I think it's only a matter of time before I start the trend back toward a shorter length again. I can still remember the days when my hair was down to my waist - and how positively freeing it was when I lopped it off to just below my shoulders. I want that freedom again.

I'm considerably thinner now - and a little less tan than I was a year ago. Tanning time diminished due to getting a job, and the weight (or lack thereof) seems to be a by-product of stress affecting my appetite. Being thinner is really beginning to bother me these days. I blame the weight loss on another thing as well - my breakup with Matt.

Speaking of which, there's another change from a year ago. No more Matt.

But at long last I can finally say that I am officially "over" him. I can't tell you exactly when it happened, but I do know that my thought process has changed so very much in that regard - as well as my emotional attachment to that part of my past. All I feel now if I think of him is a twinge of regret - but I'm not really certain exactly what it is that I regret. Perhaps the time wasted pining over the wrong person for me? I still don't understand exactly what it was about Matt that kept me so attached for so long - but thankfully, I no longer care to understand it.

I still owe The Girlie Matters to him - that first entry would have never happened without his encouragement. And many of the entries that followed wouldn't have existed without him either. But now this journal exists solely because of me - and it will continue solely because of me - and as each new entry is added, his presence here will fade into nothing but a faint imprint on my life.

My first entry in this journal mentioned my contemplation about moving into an apartment. Now, a year later, I can finally say it's going to happen. The move is still a couple of weeks away, but as far as I'm concerned, I can count it as part of the changes within the last 365 days of this journal.

It's the one change that I think will end up being the most significant of all.

Finally, I'd like to thank all of those readers who have stuck with me through this (often half-assed) attempt to offer a small piece of myself to the world.

It's not a huge legacy, but it's a start.

=)