Oh...my...God!!!

Did I ever have fun last night! Hands down, the absolute best time I've had literally in years.

I was already quite tipsy when I left the apartment (this is what happens to a Girlie who weighs less than 100 pounds and drinks a single glass of wine on an empty stomach). I abandoned the idea of skirt #1 (the long one) altogether - but I did decide to wear flat sandals and just carry the high heels along to put on before I went into the club. This allowed me to feel less self-conscious about walking around in skirt #2, which was far less of a skirt than I'm accustomed to wearing. Thank goodness that my one lucid decision before leaving the apartment was to put on underwear - later on in the evening, this one simple act saved me from the embarrassment of exposing my private parts to the entire gay and lesbian community (because the skirt rode up way too high several times as I cut loose on the crowded dance floor).

So far gone was I already that I left forgetting several things: I failed to put the bottle of White Zinfandel back in the fridge, I didn't bring my driving directions with me, and I walked out with my Crest Whitestrips still on my teeth! Once in the car, I realized the Whitestrips mistake, and pulled them off. I reached for the bottle of water I keep in the car (which, due to the Texas heat, was a tad bit too warm) and took a swig to clear the gel from my mouth - and because my habit upon doing this when I'm at my bathroom counter is to spit out the water, I proceeded to do just that. All over my lap. DOH!!

Yeah, I was off to an auspicious start. =)

After stopping at a convenience store for cigarettes and a Bacardi Silver (yuck, I don't think I liked it too much), I headed down the Tollway to Cedar Springs. I beat my friends there by about a half an hour, despite being fifteen minutes late myself for the 8:30 meet-up time. So I parked at Luby's as instructed by my buddy J when I called him on my cel. I waited very impatiently because I needed to pee rather badly - Luby's was closed and there was no way I was walking into SueEllen's alone.

Finally, J and his friend S arrived. I showed them the heels to ask if I should wear them, and they were adamant that I should after I put them on and stood up so they could see if I looked too silly. Those devils, they wanted me to look slutty, I just know it. Hehe.

So we walked across the street (actually, I think I teetered) and waited in line for SueEllen's. Then D showed up after dropping B off behind the club (B's the dancer we were there to "support").

SueEllen's was a lot smaller than I expected - but it turned out to be big fun. I had a hard time sitting on the stool with that skirt, trying to remember to keep my legs together, but as the hour passed and the Cape Cods began lowering my ability to behave like a proper lady, I finally gave up the effort and just stood up instead.

We tipped B, danced on the little dance floor, laughed and hugged and drank. Then went out back and sat to talk for a while. The guys showed off their nipple rings (ouch, that made my nipples hurt just to see them) and I showed off my belly ring and my purple thong (I told J not to look; we work together after all, haha!).

Then we went back inside. D stayed at SueEllen's, but J and S took me cruising down Cedar Springs into some of the other bars, including the one I ended up dancing in so furiously. Oh Lord! The male dancers in that bar were heaven to gaze upon! The ones up on the platforms were all wearing cowboy hats and white undies and that was it!! With chiseled bodies that I could not take my eyes away from - I almost swooned when one let me touch him after J told him it was my first time in a gay bar. There was nothing I wanted more than to take that one home for my own personal dancing boy. Sigh.

J and S were so sweet to me, holding my hands as we made our way to the dance floor, laughing at me when I asked if I was now an official "fag hag". And then we proceeded to dance and dance and dance. J kept pulling my riding-up skirt back down for me, while S made sure I didn't lose my balance on those heels. I'm sure I looked rather foolish, but I didn't give it a thought at the time. I was having a blast, and I simply didn't care what I looked like.

Finally, it was time to call it a night (even though it was only midnight). J wondered if they should take me home and come back for my car the next day, but I knew already that Saturday was going to be rough for me in terms of functioning while suffering from the hangover I was surely facing. So although I probably shouldn't have even attempted it, I drove myself home - and I count myself lucky that I made it here in one piece without wrecking or being taken to jail on a DWI charge.

I embarrassed myself at the toll booth when I couldn't find my money - because I'd already taken it from my purse and placed it between my thighs so I could find it later, but forgot that I had done so. I tried to call FB during the drive home, but given how drunk I was, I doubt that I'd have been able to even attempt any type of sexual activity without throwing up from all the required motion. All I really wanted to do was get into my bed - alone.

I tottered up the stairs, dropping my keys of course - but at least I knew this time to look for the apartment key and not the mailbox key. I let Sasha out to potty, and then managed to get her back inside and remembered to lock the apartment door. Then I stripped off all my clothes, took my birth-control pill, and collapsed naked on the bed, with my contacts and makeup still on (I was not capable of standing at the bathroom counter long enough to perform that step of my bedtime routine.)

I woke up at six this morning, took out the contacts and removed the makeup, washed my face and brushed my teeth - and noticed my tongue was a bright red color. What the?? I think it was the free shot of Stoli, cranberry juice, and Triple Sec that did that, but it freaked me out at first! But not long enough to keep me from falling back into bed. I woke up again at ten, got online for a while, ate some saltines, then went back to bed until three this afternoon.

I still feel green around the gills, though I did manage to eat something resembling real food. But every little wave of nausea puts a huge smile on my face, because it reminds me of what a fabulous time I had - and that I cannot wait to do it all over again.