It's the end of the weekend, and I feel like I've had no weekend at all.

Last week was tough enough (and I mean the week prior to this one). Late Tuesday afternoon, I noticed that I was feeling chilled, the way you do when you run a fever. I left work a few minutes early, stopping off at Lover's Egg Roll for some beef fried rice (my comfort food). After I arrived home and let Sasha out, I dug into the rice and it made me feel temporarily better. But by around 7:00 p.m., I was on the couch, wrapped in my robe and covered by a blanket - and shivering uncontrollably.

The left side of my back had been bothering me all day, but I had chalked it up to stress, since the muscle on that side tends to spasm now and then when I've sat in my chair too long at work without getting up often enough. But I noticed then that going to the restroom was also uncomfortable.

By 7:30, I decided I'd better crawl into bed. The shaking was so bad that I could hardly get my contacts out of my eyes. My teeth were chattering, hands numb and trembling, legs wobbly. When I did manage to get cleaned up enough to climb under the covers, I had on my pajamas, my robe, and I kept all the blankets up over my head (this is unusual because normally I sleep in the nude and with a fan on because I tend to overheat while I sleep).

By Wednesday morning, I knew I was in trouble. I looked up the nearest doctor to my apartment, and called at 9:30 a.m. to make the appointment. The woman who answered listened to my teary complaint (I was hurting terribly by then), put me on hold, then finally came back on and asked if I could come in at 11:50. I said yes and confirmed with her that she said 11:50 and not 11:15 as I didn't want to miss an appointment I desperately needed. I realized after hanging up that she hadn't even asked my name, but figured the likelihood of two women calling up complaining of a fever and kidney pain in the same morning was probably pretty slim. She'd remember me for sure.

I suffered for the next two hours waiting until it was time to leave. Then I managed to drive the two blocks to the doctor's office, which was a bit of a miracle in itself because every time I pushed down on the clutch, I winced at the pain in my back.

When I arrived at the doctor's office, they looked at me like I was a complete idiot. The woman who I'd spoken to said she remembered talking to me, but then she flat-out denied that she'd scheduled an appointment for me. Since I was a new patient, she'd never have scheduled me ten minutes before lunch time. Lying bitch!! She'd done exactly that; she'd never even asked if I was a new patient or not.

I couldn't help it, I started to cry. I was hurting and angry and completely vulnerable. The two women at the reception area just sat there and looked at me, neither one willing to admit that they'd fucked up royally. Finally, I just turned and walked out of the office, tears streaming down my face.

At the elevators, I sat on the floor and called The A/P Lady at work to ask her where the nearest hospital was located. She could tell I was in pain, and she suggested I drive over to her doctor's office, which was not far away.

I managed to do that, and all I can say is, God bless Dr. Lowery and his staff. Their office was closed, but even so, Dr. Lowery agreed to see me right away. They expressed their shock and sympathy at what the first doctor's office had done. Dr. Lowery even filled out the medical questionnaire for me since I was still shaking so much that I couldn't hold the pen to write out the answers.

He told me the fever and chills were indications that I was not just suffering from a bladder infection, that it was possible I was experiencing the beginnings of sepsis. That's when an infection invades the bloodstream, and it was possible that in about four hours, I'd be much worse and in need of IV antibiotics. The doctor stressed that I needed to not take anything that would make me so drowsy I wouldn't realize if I was getting worse. He also told me to have someone call me that evening to make sure I was okay.

It was rough for the next 48 hours. Fortunately, the oral antibiotics did their job, and I avoided the need for those needles that I hate so much. But I was seriously scared throughout that time. It didn't help that I was pretty much on my own; that's one of those few downsides to living alone - you are alone, whether on your deathbed or not.

But I did have friends and coworkers who called to check on me, so I guess I wasn't completely on my own. You learn a great deal about who really cares about you when you're ill. They're the people who offer to bring you food, or drive you to the hospital, or watch your dog so you can rest. My boss even hired a temp for the next three weeks to help me get a grip on my workload (though I sent her back after this week; it was more work thinking of things for her to do than just doing them all myself).

So maybe I came close to a coma, but I also discovered something about who I can count on when things get tough in my life.

I'd say that made it all worth the pain.

The Ex finally admitted defeat where Justin was concerned, and agreed to let him go live with my mother. Since I was sick, she drove to pick him up last weekend.

Justin is very excited about having his own room for the first time ever in his life, and about going to Arlington High. I took off this past Friday afternoon to register him in the new school (right now we aren't formalizing any legal guardianship with my mother; as far as the school knows, both he and I are living with her).

I think Justin will do very well being the "only" child - I think that's all he ever wanted, to be the center of someone's attention. And truthfully, his father can be more than unreasonable to live with (as I well know). They just were locked into a cycle that neither one could break, and I think this separation will end up being the best thing for their relationship.

I probably won't see Justin as much now. Driving to Terrell and then to Arlington on a Friday night is a huge undertaking, and Justin and Cody will only end up fighting anyway. Perhaps I'll do it one weekend a month or so, and also there will be extended breaks from school when I'll have them both. That will be a bit difficult though if their breaks don't coincide. Cody is too irresponsible to be left in my apartment alone while I work, and Justin will probably want to spend his free time with his cousin Jacob, who lives near my mother.

So this does complicate things somewhat for me, but ultimately, this change is in Justin's best interests, and that's really what being a parent is all about, isn't it?

I should have called my friend to take care of Sasha while I was ill.

During one period when I had fallen asleep on the couch, she was bored/anxious/angry and proceeded to chew a huge hole in the corner of a wall in the dining room! Arrrgh! Now I'll have to pay someone to fix it because Lord knows I can't stand looking at it. She's done that to a few corners in the apartment, but never anything to this degree.

Then, the other night, I had the balcony door open so she could experience the outdoors without running loose. My neighbor was walking his dog, Nala, right beneath my balcony. I heard Sasha barking and then suddenly, I heard my neighbor's surprised voice: "Sasha!!"

I rushed out onto the balcony and there was no Sasha! She'd jumped from the second floor! Quickly I ran out the front door, down the stairs, and around the building, certain she'd broken a leg or two.

She was running and playing with Nala, no apparent injuries. She did kind of hop up every now and then off her right rear leg, as though it were bothering her. But when I got her upstairs, I worked my hands up and down all her legs, and they seemed okay. Surprising, given how thin her little legs are.

She's not only a crazy dog, she's an incredibly lucky one. I just hope she doesn't think that's the way to get downstairs from now on.

I spent most of this weekend working on work of all things. I brought a laptop home because the spreadsheet files I needed were too big to put on a diskette, so I had to transfer them over the network to the laptop. Tomorrow, I'll have to transfer them back.

Of course, now I want a laptop, hehe. It would be nice to sit on the couch and surf the net in comfort.

Maybe I'll sell the old Mazda so I can afford one. =)